June 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment

After Tom lost his boat like a complete chump, he pretty moped around the office for a couple of weeks making the rest of us miserable.  Which is on top of his normal routine of making us all inefficient and generally getting in the way.  Problem was he put so much money into the massive engine he put on that stupid thing that he had no cash to get it out of salvage once he got it dredged up from the bottom of the harbor.


So after a month of this, I’m taking matters into my own hands.  Vito tells me he knows a guy at the salvage yard and can have them break Tom’s boat out and make it look like it was never there.  And normally I’d be like “sign me up, man.”  But this time I can’t.  Tom’s too fragile to leave hanging like that, and knowing him he’d point the cops to me not because he suspects me but because he’s too soft to blame any of the girls.

What does old Hal do?  Of course I divert some funds out of Shipping to pay the salvage fee and get his boat out of hock.  I tell them to tell Tom that it was some kind of administrative mistake and they he’s entitled to one free boat salvage every five years — by law.  Now all I gotta do is make sure he goes five years without becoming a U-Boat commander again.

So now we’ve got the old Tom back, which is to say he’s still making life crazy for us and getting in the way and all.  Only he’s not this pathetic sad sack about it.  Geez.  I’m still thinking about getting him an outboard motor that runs entirely on Paxil … maybe the fumes will keep things normal for us here at the office … just in case.

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