Y’all remember how Jan got herself in a little bit of a tight spot when Tom figured out that she’d called in sick and went to some kind of crazy vampire convention instead? Well even though Tom is a dear heart and dumber than a sack of hair most days, he never seems to forget when someone’s in his debt. So of course once she got back, Jan was all hopin’ that Tom would forget and she’d be able to go back to bein’ mean to people and ignorin’ all the emails people send her and whatnot. And of course that’s a very, very wrong thing to do. I just suppose her momma didn’t raise her quite right, bless her heart.
Well Tom called her into his office finally to discuss “a matter of professionalism,” as he said. And of course I had to listen in on the phone extension, because Tom wants me to make sure that I hear everything that goes on so that he doesn’t forget anything and get in trouble with YOU KNOW WHO. So even though it pains me so to do it, I’ve been listening in on his phone calls since I took over for Katie a year or so ago.
I will not bore you with the uninteresting and confidential details, but suffice it to say that Tom laid it all on the line for Jan and said that she had to straighten up and fly right or he’d be speaking to YOU KNOW WHO and she would very quickly find herself looking for other means of gainful employ. Now I hated to hear this, because Jan is sometimes such a ray of sunshine in my life, like those days every once-in-a-while when she comes in and forgets to insult my hair or shoes or my intelligence by talking slowly and loudly, as though I come from a different country. I come from Georgia, which is indeed different, but not that different.
But the rest of the time, Jan’s just such a meanie. I suppose she had this comin’ to her. Shows you why my momma always said, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice about someone else, sit right down here next to me.”
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