Mar

29

Dirk

March 29, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Don’t ask me to explain how, but Gisele’s got some strange kind of influence over Tom, because she got him to approve an open position in the International Division, even though that group barely needs any more help.  Nevertheless, this empty box showed up on the org chart under her, and when I asked Jan about it, she said that there was “a candidate under consideration” already and that I should just mind my own business and “get back to buying things or selling things or whatever it is you do”.  Obviously she doesn’t appreciate my many contributions to our office’s excellence, but it’s not her approval that floats my boat anyway.

So I mind my own business for a while, eventually noticing that Tom’s got a meeting with Jan and both of the folks on the International Division and Gisele.  This may not seem like much to you, but in fact this is truly noteworthy.  These are five people who have probably never been in the same room together ever.   I ask our secretary-du-jour (whose name I believe was Esmerelda) what was going on and she said that Tom had instructed her not to discuss the interview with anyone who came asking.  Well, who am I to argue with someone named Esmerelda, so I went about my normal routine.

By normal routine, I mean the obsessive circuit between my desk and the breakroom, which took me by the hallway to Tom’s office every five minutes.  I will admit that I was hoping to get a look at the candidate.  Finally around an hour later, I just missed him.  I saw him from the back as he walked out the front door, and he looked like some cross between Indiana Jones and a model from the J. Peterman catalog.  The International Guy and the International Girl walk out chattering on in Mandarin.  No luck there, I’m afraid.  Gisele minces out with Jan right behind her.  I hear Tom say in what seems to be an exhausted voice to close the door.

“I told you,” said Gisele , removing her beret and using it to mop her brow in a motion that was simultaneously dainty and rugged.

Jan was clearly out-of-breath.  “Honestly, you thought I’d believe you?  Not that I don’t now that I’ve met him, but really, Gisele …”

I sauntered up casually and asked, “Who was that?”

“Man of the century as far as I’m concerned,” replied Jan.  Gisele shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“A candidate we’re interviewing to help out in the International Division.”

“Ah,” I nodded, refusing to betray my advance knowledge.

“Let’s just say you’d better hope he doesn’t want your job, cause he’s better at it than you are,” added Jan.

“How can that be?  I thought he was qualified for the International Division sales position?”

“Ah, I see you read that,” said Gisele.  “His talents are numerous.”

I tried to hide a thin film of sweat that was breaking out on my brow.  “And what is this super-candidate’s name? I ventured tentatively.

“Dirk Danger.  Oh, that’s his real name, alright.”  I narrowed my eyes.  “And yes, he’s all that.”

Hold on tight, dear readers.  I believe we’re in for a very bumpy ride.


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