So, like Tom apparently doesn’t pay the cleaning staff enough, and to make up for the massive accumulation of junk and dirt in the office, he makes us come in one Saturday every six months and scrub the place. He offers some lame random drawing every hour for like a gift certificate to The Pasta House or something, but dude, it’s completely transparent. He’s just cheap.
Anyway, there’s all kinds of work that needs doing all day long. Scrubbing sinks, shampooing carpets, reorganizing storage closets, you know. The kind of stuff we paid people to do for us back at Nussey Zucker and Milch before we all left to come work here. So the best job is the coordinator. All you do is walk around with a clipboard and make sure that every job gets done. Tom says it’s for auditing purposes, but everyone knows that it’s just so he doesn’t have to do any real work himself.
Only I was going to be doing that job this year. I went to Jan on Friday and explained that I couldn’t do any physical labor at the office cleanup the next day. She raised an eyebrow questioningly, and I explained that I’d had a cheerleading injury a few years ago and well, I couldn’t do anything that involved lifting, stooping, squatting, scrounging, carrying, hefting, toting, or travailing. I even had a signed doctor’s excuse.
“What kind of cheerleading injury was this?” Jan asked incredulously after reading the note.
I looked around for a second and replied, “It might be easier to show you.” I closed her office door and showed her. Next thing you know, I’m the coordinator for Cleanup Day. Case closed, buy me a purse.
Well, apparently that one little episode started a little office gossip going on. Which is fine, because the only thing that matters is that they’re talking about me. I’m fine to just let them wonder. After all, the truth can’t possibly compare to anything their grungy little minds can make up …Last 5 posts by Kelsi
- Like I'm confused - May 28th, 2010
- Impassive and non-aggressive - February 22nd, 2010
- Epic Fail - November 5th, 2009
- Helter Swelter - August 13th, 2009
- Klueless (with a capital K) - July 30th, 2009
Join Our Fan Group on Facebook
- Everything else
- Jokes that are BeLOW US
- Not that stupid boat again!
- Office Olympics
- Office Pranks And The Audits They Cause
- Office Romance
- Saving Money
- The International Division
- The Pretty People
- Summer Vacation
- The Competition Whisperer
- Like I’m confused
- Home Cookin’
- Custodian of No
- Things I Hate, volume 3
- The Ringer
Highest Rated Posts
- Drip … drip … drip (5.00 out of 5)
- Office Holiday Party Redux — The Violations (5.00 out of 5)
- OMFG$$! (5.00 out of 5)
- Must Be Bad News (5.00 out of 5)
- Big Announcement — iTunes! (5.00 out of 5)
- Moving Violation (5.00 out of 5)
- I’m ambivalent as heck, and I just won’t take it anymore! (5.00 out of 5)
- Duck and Cover (5.00 out of 5)
- Two Big (Round) Reasons Why I Win At Business (5.00 out of 5)
- There’s no such thing as bad publicity (5.00 out of 5)