March 18, 2010 | Leave a Comment

YawnJust OkMade me smileLOLROFLMAO! ZOMG, Mailing this to everyone I know (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Okay, you’ve got to promise, and I mean promise on your mother’s life that you won’t say anything about this to anyone.  Anyone, do you hear me?  Swear!  I’m not saying another word until you swear.  No, I don’t want that half-pack of Thin Mints to tell you.  Swear!  Okay, I’ll take the Thin Mints.

So I was at the fax machine picking up the … oh wow, these are really good this year <nom nom nom> … right, faxes from Corporate that were supposed to have just our year-end numbers in them.  I was going to pretty them all up and give them to Tom so he could pretend to review them and I could go back to listening to Avenue Q.  But get this … mmm, did they change the recipe or something, because I would kill all of you for another box of these and a nice spumanti and a bubble bath.  Oh yeah, the fax.  Well, they must have had that little minx Trina doing the faxes, because I got the Corporate year-end numbers.  And not the sanitized version — the real books.  And did we make money?!  Oh girl, let me tell you, we were like Liberace before he got all weird.  We are positively rolling in cash.

Um … hang on … my fingers are sticky.  Anyway, something really big is coming up.  Because they aren’t planning on giving any of that money away.  No, not the United Way.  I mean like a dividend.  You know, for the stockholders.  Please tell me I don’t have to explain how stock works.  Ugh, you are just like Dale, I swear, only not as cute.  Though the Thin Mints are a nice touch.  You can keep that up.

So they’re planning on doing something with all that money.  No, I have no idea.  They didn’t put that on the fax!  Let’s just say I’m all ears until something more useful comes along.  Like more Thin Mints.  Or some Samoas.  I saw you had some of those too.  Don’t kid me, I know you do.

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