May

13

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I know, you missed the first two volumes, but this is the most relevant part of this one.  For you though, I’ll summarize Things I Hate, volumes 1 & 2:  fake eyelashes, caffeine-free anything, pinochle, every single work Steven Sondheim wrote after Sunday in the Park with George, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and Jane (three times).  Anyway, Ned has us working like crazy, and all because he can’t seem to find his backbone and tell Tom “no” once in a while.  I mean, I had just gotten through telling him about how we were stretched too thin to take on any new work, and in fact we were looking at having to postpone two major projects already because of funding delays in the first quarter.

“So what i hear you saying is that we’re encountering some minor difficulties that will sort themselves out in time,” he said back to me.

“That’s not it at all.  The problems won’t sort themselves out until we get more help or shed some work.”

“Got it.  So I’ll just let Tom know that we’ll have that catalog rewrite ready a week early.”

“No, the catalog won’t get done at all unless we stop work on your underground zombie-proof bunker in the undisclosed location.”

“Hm.  Well, we can’t delay that.  How about I just tell Tom that we’ll have the catalog rewritten a week late, instead?”

This went on for about half-an-hour.  Let’s just say that by the end we had no more clarity about what we were supposed to be working on, whose work was highest priority, or how we were going to tackle the resource shortfall.  As I turned to walk away, I overheard Ned as he walked into Tom’s office.

“Hey Tom, great news!  We’re going to get the catalog done just two weeks delayed, but we’ll make that time up on the customer information survey you said would be nice to do.”

I shook my head.  This kindof stuff is enough to drive a man to drink.  But not to drink a daiquiri — that’s a late summer thing only.  I hate mixed drinks out-of-season …

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